


lock your door but she comes through the window

by PanGlory



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel, Marvel (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Aromantic Character, Asexual Character, Bisexual Character, Drabble, Fluff, Gen, I know I would, I'll fight you on it, M/M, Other, Steve would totally know about queer shit from the 40s and 30s ok, ace!nat, also Natasha is a spy she'd totally use her skills to scare the shit out of people, aro!nat
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-13
Updated: 2014-05-13
Packaged: 2018-01-24 16:12:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,760
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1611362
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PanGlory/pseuds/PanGlory
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Steve Rogers really needs to get a lock that can keep out a certain red-headed Russian spy. But when Natasha wants to set Steve up on a date, she will do her job. Fuck security systems.</p>
            </blockquote>





	lock your door but she comes through the window

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you Thea for giving me great prompts! This is for you, you little bi historian who over-identifies with Steve Rogers.

Steve was relaxing in his living room with his laptop, looking up things on the Internet. He had started out by searching "Civil Rights Speeches" in the search engine and had watched a few about racial rights in the 60s and on gay rights.But somehow, he now found himself looking at kittens and puppies playing with each other. The internet was a strange place.

Natasha spoke up behind him. "Steve, are you doing anything right now?"

He didn't flinch, but instead slowly turned around to see Natasha standing over him, chewing some bubble gum. It was 9 am and Natasha _definitely_ hadn't been there ten minutes ago.

She looked over his shoulder at his laptop. "Very cute. But look, If you want, I have someone willing to go on a date with you today, so get dressed."

"Do I know this person?"

"Well, not yet, but you will." She tossed him his jacket at the computer.

"Natasha..."

"Come on, old man. You may be 95, but you're not dead." He placed the laptop on the coffee table, and then walked up and past her. "

"I'm not in the mood, today. If you want to stay here and have breakfast with me, you're welcome to."

She had her arms crossed, her recently straightened hair now cut in a side shave. "Hmm. I think I'll pass. I need to run a few errands but I may be by tomorrow."

Errands meant top-secret missions, Steve knew but he still wanted her to stay a little while. "I'm making omelets! The old fashioned way, too." Steve turned to the fridge and opened it for the egg carton.

No response.

When he turned back, she was gone, and the window was left open.

"Can't she ever just use the door?" He muttered to himself.

"How did you think I came in?" said Natasha, who was now standing next to him.

Startled, he accidentally dropped the carton of eggs but she caught it before it could break.

Forgot my keys," she grabbed her car keys sitting on the counter. "Goodbye, Steve."

\---

The next week, Steve had been reading a library book in bed when he looked up to see Natasha standing in the bathroom doorway.

"You're out of toothpaste."

If Steve still had his arrhythmia he might have had a heart attack.

Natasha was filing her nails, and said conversationally, "Nice book you have there." Steve closed the book he was holding, glancing at the title page. "Gay New York: Gender, Urban Culture, and the Making of the Gay Male World 1890-1940."

"Catching up on some reading. I think I should send the author an email-- I know of a few bars he missed."

Natasha's lip upturned slightly. "Captain America went to gay bars?"

He shrugged. "No, but Steve Rogers lived in a pretty gay neighborhood. I know more slang words for 'back alley blowjob' than I do for kissing." He thought he heard her chuckle, but with Natasha, one didn't know. She might have just breathed louder than she meant to.

There was a pause between them, and then "I have another date for you. She's very nice, works at the Met as a curator." Steve picked up his book again.

"She an ex- SHIELD Agent? Pass."

Natasha went back into the bathroom to brush her teeth. "Your loss. Mind if I sleep here tonight?"

"What's wrong with your place?"

"Someone shot a rocket through the west wall. Nothing I couldn't handle."

\---

Natasha had been out the next day, going to another apartment she had in Queens. She waved him goodbye and thanked him for the omelet, it was very nice of him. Finishing his book he put it in a pile of another 5 or 6 queer books, ranging from topics on gender to polyamory.

He sat still for a moment, thinking hard, but then flipped open his laptop, and typed in "bisexual".

\---

Steve was drawing, having just returned from a mission with Sam. It hadn't meant to be a mission, just him and his friend hanging out in Harlem while Sam visited some family. Sam's grandmother asked if Steve was his new boyfriend and "Look at my boy, dating Captain America-" and Sam had to explain "No, grandma, I'm still dating Jonathan from the VA-" while she tut tutted, and asked Steve why he hadn't asked out her grandson yet. It had been a little awkward, if funny, so they said their goodbyes and went out for a walk while Sam showed Steve around. Sam pointed out where the best restaurants were and how much Harlem had changed since the 90s, also since the Hulk had demolished a bunch of streets and buildings. Steve rolled his eyes. "Sam. I haven't been here since the 40s."

They had been walking around and Steve was talking to Sam, pointing out where some queer bars had been, when Steve spotted someone running out from an alley clutching a gun. Both of them broke out into a run to see the man and few others trying to rob a bank. Needless to say, the robbers didn't succeed. Sam had hurt his hand punching out one of the men, but otherwise they were fine and after dealing with the police, went home to relax. Steve was sketching Sam's grandma and listening to a documentary on the TV when Nat appeared on the couch next to him.

"What are you drawing now?" Steve wondered if she lived somewhere in his house and he just hadn't noticed.

"Me and Sam went out today and I met his grandmother." He said, trying to draw Sam's grandmother's dreadlocks so they looked less like limp noodles and more like hair. He was a little out of practice.

"You should have told me." Steve looked up at her.

"Why should I tell you when I hang out with Sam?"

"Well if I had known, I would stop trying to set you up on a date."

He blinked. "Oh. It's not like that. We were just hanging out as friends."

"...but do you like men?"

Steve paused, and set down his drawing pad.

He turned on the couch so he could look at Natasha. She didn't even seem surprised, or judgmental. Just slightly interested.

"Yes, actually. Men, Women, and...I think the phrase is nonbinary people?" He looked at the pile of books on the coffee table. "I was doing some reading, and the word for it is bisexual."

"Biromantic as well?" She asked.

"What." He gave her a blank look.

She leaned back into the couch, looking very unimpressed. "It figures. I'll send you some essays later. There's a difference between sexual and romantic attraction, Steve."

"Oh. Okay."

Another pause.

"Uh, what _is_ the difference?"

"Aromantic people don't feel romantic towards anyone, We don't have a desire to be in a romantic relationship. Asexuals don't experience sexual attraction, or the desire to have sex with anyone. Sometimes, we do have sex with people for different reasons, but it isn't because of sexual attraction."

Steve nodded slowly. "Oh. Okay. In that case, I guess I'm both biromantic and bisexual."

She gave him a small smile. "Very nice. I guess I'll look for some other genders to set you up with, then."

"How about you, Natasha. Why don't you go on dates?"

She gave him the 'Were you listening' look. "I'm aromatic. And asexual. Don't worry about me."

She got off of the couch and stretched. "Do you have an electric razor in your bathroom? Mine broke when an assassin broke into my apartment and I had to use it to incapacitate him."

Steve waved her away. "Don't act like you don't know, Nat."

"Rogers, I only act like I know know everything."

\---

The next month, Steve was putting on a fresh shirt when he came back from an evening run around Park Slope. He couldn't seem to find his Bucky Bear slippers, though. When he turned around, Natasha was holding them out to him.

"How do you even get in here?" He wasn't surprised to see her show up in his house uninvited anymore, but he was genuinely curious.

"The same way I got in." Came a deep voice from behind him, which did surprise him, and if he let out a shriek while he jumped away, well...

"SHIT. BUCKY. WHAT THE FUCK." Bucky was trying not to laugh, his metal hand covering his mouth while his shoulders shook. "Steve. Steve, your FACE."

"It was pretty funny, man." And Steve whipped around to see Sam holding up his iPhone with the camera on. "This is definitely going on Twitter."

Steve snatched his slippers from Natasha and then put them on, giving her a dirty look. He pointed an accusing finger at her. "Okay, you two are damn Russian spy assassins but how did HE get in here without me noticing?"

"Hey, I can be stealthy, I'm the stealthiest. You know that stealth mission? The one with the flying jetpack falcon wings? Yeah I'm-"

"I carried him on my back." Natasha said with a straight face.

"I offered, but Sam wanted to see if Natasha could really do it." Bucky added.

"I really can."

Steve groaned. What had his life become.

"But that's not why we're here."

He rolled his eyes. "You mean you aren't here to scare the hell out of me?"

Bucky snorted. "Of course not. That's just a bonus."

"No," Natasha said. "I'm here to offer you one last date."

"What," Steve huffed. "You had to bring along these two to make sure I don't get out of this one?"

Bucky stepped next to Steve and slung his human arm around his shoulder. "Actually, I wasn't planning on using force. Hoping I could charm you with my good looks."

Steve's choked. "Wha-?"

"Jonathan's in town, I was hoping you two would come with us into Harlem for a double date." Sam spoke up.

"If you don't want to, we'll just go to keep them company." Bucky said, holding Steve's gaze. "But I'd rather if it was a date."

Steve nodded vigorously, still trying to regain his composure. "No, no Buck, I'd love to!"

"Then it's settled." Natasha said. "And with that, I'm done with this matchmaking game. Have fun you little allos."

She smirked and walked out into the next room. "I'll be here if you need me!" She said, and Steve heard the television turn on.

"By the way," Sam added, and Steve looked at him only to see the flash go off, the phone pointed at his feet, "Nice slippers."

**Author's Note:**

> http://www.amazon.com/Gay-New-York-Culture-1890-1940/dp/0465026214  
> This is the book Steve was reading and IT IS EXCELLENT! HIGHLY RECOMMENDED.
> 
>  
> 
> Btw for people who don't know about aromanticism/asexuality etc  
> http://aromantics.wikia.com/wiki/Aromantic  
> http://aromantics.wikia.com/wiki/Lithromantic  
> http://www.asexuality.org/home/
> 
> allosexual/alloromantics are people who do experience sexual/romantic attraction
> 
> Also sorry if I got your OT4 hopes up, Steve/Bucky/Nat/Sam is my OT4 but I'm writing another fic for them!


End file.
